Simon's Movie Reviews

“Dirty Dancing” (1987) has been described as “Star Wars” for women. That may be true in terms of popularity, but story-wise we are talking about apples and oranges here. Just like “Footloose” and the “Footloose” remake, “Dirty Dancing” has a paper-thin plot that serves as an excuse to see well-toned people hit the dance floor and make it look improvised whereas they have been practicing for weeks. Of course it didn’t hurt the film that the male lead was Patrick Swayze, who, while not the best actor of all time, was one of the best on-screen dancers of all time. So why did I decide to watch this movie? Two reasons: first, it’s on Empire Magazine list of Greatest Movies of All Times and I like to cross things off a list, even though I am not sure why it’s on the list. Second, when I saw it a year ago it was available on iTunes for 99 cents and I was low on cash. I was finishing my second semester in Journalism-New Media at Sheridan College, living off a student loan, and ...

When I was growing up, I knew of three super-heroes: Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man. Yet Jon Favreau’s “Iron Man” (2008) showed me a hero that is, if not as interesting, even more entertaining than these three put together. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) has the money of Batman, the brains of Steve Jobs, but also the libido of Hugh Hefner. The scene that says it all in terms of characterisation is the one when he is flying to Afghanistan in his private jet with his Air Force friend James Rhodes (Terrence Howard). As they drink and talk shop, polls descend from the ceiling and the stewardesses begin to…well you know. This movie was one of the highlights of the 2008 summer seasons. I was on vacation from Sherbrooke University and was working a summer job in Quebec City. But when the week-end came, man did I have some choice cuts at the Cineplex: “The Dark Knight,” “WALL-E,” “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” and “Tropic Thunder.” “Iron Man” was one of...

It’s fair to say Walt Disney provided me with a great deal of entertainment while growing up. His colourful characters were in my storybooks, Saturday morning cartoons, and in some of the first movies I saw as a child. “The Jungle Book,” produced by Disney and directed by Wolfgang Reithermann, is filled with talking animals, hand-drawn animation, and song and dance numbers. That’s all you needed back in 1967, when the movie was made. There is no 3D, no big movie stars providing the voices, and no pop-culture references. This is one of those movies that bring me back to a simpler time, when I couldn’t go to bed past 10:00pm and when grandma’s apartment was the best place in the world. That’s probably where I first saw this movie. Either that, or someone read me the illustrated book based on the movie. You know the kind. There’s a whole catalogue of short books filled with what are basically stills from Disney movies with about five sentences on the right page to add ...

I don’t know exactly when it all began, but aliens are now part of the world’s greatest myths, right along Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. There are plenty of reports of people seeing them, many blurry photographs, but actual proof? None. Conspiracy theorists say that’s what the government would have you believe, and Barry Sonnenfeld’s 1997 comedy “Men In Black” shows you just how a government agency would hide the aliens in plain sight. The joke is that some aliens are so bizarre they get careers in entertainment. Which makes me wonder about Charlie Sheen. Did he not say he was from Mars? I first saw “Men In Black” about a year after it had come out and my brother had already seen it on the big screen. He loved it so he figured I would like it too. So we watched while our parents were out for the night. This was back when we were living in Santiago, Chile, so the movie was in Spanish. Will Smith is still funny in Spanish, but unfortunately I had a hard time laughing. If I...

“Spider-Man 2” answers a question many cynics must have asked about superheroes: how does this guy wash his costume? It turns out he washes it at the Laundromat like everybody else and unfortunately it soils his underwear. Apparently even a superhero should know not to mix the colours with the whites.  One of the biggest hits of 2004, “Spider-Man 2” made my day during a rather mediocre summer. I had just finished my last year of high school (not a good one), I was looking for a summer job (no luck), and I was about to start my first year of college. The previous year I had moved from South America to Quebec City and the transition had been a lot less smooth than I had anticipated. I was nervous about college, finding a job, and too many other things. Well at least I didn’t have to worry about fighting a mad scientist in my spare time. “Spider-Man 2” surpassed the previous movie because in this sequel we see the hero deal with normal problems like the rest of us. When Pete...

Dive beneath the ocean with the geniuses from Pixar. “Finding Nemo” is a great movie because it has the best the studio has to offer: state-of-the-art animation, engaging characters, funny gags, strong dialogue, and a solid story. Directed by Andrew Stanton, the movie was one of the hits of 2003 and was the fifth success for Pixar after “Toy Story” in 1995. Children love this movie for the story and adults can enjoy it for the smart humour. I first saw “Finding Nemo” in theatres with my brother in 2003. It was a busy summer: my parents and I had just moved back to Quebec City after an 8 year stay in South America. When we were not busy unpacking and painting the walls of our new home, I would ask for a break to go to the movies. The movie was dubbed in French, which I hate, but it’s different with animated movies. The stories told are usually universal, and the jokes can be translated in any language. Seeing a great white shark called Bruce say “Fish are friend, not food”...

“One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.” I don’t know who came up with that quote, but whoever it was, they most likely did not have the hero of “V for Vendetta” in mind. Although when I use the word “hero” I do so only because the villains are much worse than him. To a fictional fascist government “V” is a terrorist who destroys government buildings and kills government officials. To the people, he is a freedom fighter who opens their eyes to the lies they have been sold. One thing is certain: he believes violence is part of the solution. I hope that is a prospect a lot of people find divisive. I first saw this hundredth graphic novel adaption at a movie theatre in Quebec City in 2006, but I had a much more interesting second viewing in 2010. One of my courses at the University of Sherbrooke was Cultural Studies, and wouldn’t you know it, the graphic novel “V for Vendetta” by Alan Moore was required reading. Once we were done with that exhausting homework ...